If you’ve been following my blog recently, you already know that I dropped my episodic review series of Minami Kamakura High School Girls Cycling Club. Aside from just having an obnoxiously long title, Cycling Club had a lot of problems. Basically, Girls Gone Bike (my personal nickname for the series) lacked meaningful purpose, originality, fresh humor, consistent animation quality, interesting direction/storyboarding, and most importantly…eroticism.

Now, I know what you’re thinking:

“Eroticism? Can an injection of sexiness really fix a show with so many issues?”

Yes. Yes, it can.

…

Probably.

…

Maybe.

I mean, just think about it: Cyclist uniforms. All sweaty and skin-tight from a hard day’s…uh…bike? I’m telling you, sexy bike clothes could be the next cat lingerie. They’re snug, they’re smooth, they emphasize the hips, and they zip open from the front for easy reveals! Of course, most of the time the girls would probably be wearing sports bras, but those can be cool too! Just look at this GIF of Karen Araragi sporting one! [Click here for a very good GIF]

Biking also offers a whole new kind of movement that’s just waiting to be tapped into by erotic animation. I’m sure there must be some interesting views and jiggles to be had from the act of pedaling. And to any of the naysayers that think bicycling can’t be sexy, let me remind you the SHAFT made tooth brushing erotic. So anything’s possible. [Click here for another very good GIF]

“Sports bras would prevent jiggling though.”

Well, that may be true, but you still have to think about the possibilities, my friend! Of course there’s going to be an episode where the girls all collectively lose their bras in a locker room fire, causing them to ride home without them. Not only that there’s going to be an episode where they bike to the beach. And an episode where they bike to a hot spring. And an episode where one of the girls takes a nasty fall off a cliff into the woods, the other girls going down to help her, finding her with an injury—nothing fatal, but she can’t walk—spending the night because its already dark, in the morning realizing they’re lost and without a GPS signal, wandering around together until they eventually find…a natural hot spring! And then they skinny dip, or something.

Now, I know some people may find this to be gross fetishizing and objectification of women. I personally wouldn’t call it “gross” at all. However, it is indeed objectifying characters, and is completely fine by me. It’s fiction after all, and by no means is it trying to present itself as “normal”, nor propagate any sort of deplorable political views. Also, the show could hypothetically have males and/or be entirely male casted, but in my version that simply won’t do, and the reason for that is…

It’s gon be yuri as fuck yo!

Just a group of spunky, teenage girls brought together by their love of biking. When not racing in tournaments, they travel across Japan in search of new initially innocuous (but inevitably raunchy) experiences. Yes, just five supple high school girls and their busty instructor, off to extend their reach and explore their world…as well as each other’s bodies.

Thanks for reading.

And I’m sorry if I ruined the image of this show for you.

But not really 🙂